What makes a relationship strong and last long?
Usually, we are being told by the societal norms that we necessarily need a partner to be complete and fulfilled in life. Even if the main way you can reach harmony and peace is self-love and respect, many of us still can not help but wish they were also loved by someone. However, not many people know how healthy relationships work. Sometimes, we can compare our regular real-life relationships to all the fairy tales that the media shows us.
In the romantic comedies and melodramas, the standards are set unrealistically high, as the couples are shown just at the beginning of their relationship. Obviously, they are happy together, have no conflicts, and are enjoying their true love that conquers everything. Many people project this into real life and are wondering why their own relationship is not like this. In real life it is entirely different because every couple has to go through everyday issues – like bills, sharing a home together, various work-related stresses, and raising children. Of course, romance movies will not show this, because they end right when the couple finally proclaims their love for each other. If the romantic feelings are not as huge and wholesome as in the movies, people start thinking that the love between them and their partner is not here, and there is something wrong with the relationship.
How to make a relationship last long? You should throw away all the unrealistic expectations, and accept the fact that you and your partner are only humans. Obviously, if you both are getting uncomfortable in this union, it is best to end this. But if you have some problems that you can work out through, it is absolutely normal for every couple.
Here are some relationship tips about how to make your union strong and long-lasting. In fact, when you have gone through everything with your partner and your love still withstood all the challenges, it is much more beautiful and genuine than any cheesy plot of a romantic comedy.
How to make a relationship strong
So, if you want to commit to a person long-term and build something really special with them, these tips may come in handy. In love and relationships, they are extremely important and hold a large significance.
There is not a single person who is perfect. And the main premise of a healthy relationship would be accepting your loved one with all the flaws, qualities, and behavioral patterns. You have to view them for the person they are, and not for some ideal version of them that you have created in your head.
The acceptance should be mutual, so you also should not tolerate the partner who constantly tells you to change something about yourself. Tolerance is a very powerful thing that helps to avoid the misunderstandings and fights and is also useful for getting to know your partner better and adapt to their character. This said, obviously, if there is some character trait about your partner that really puts them in a negative light and makes everyone’s lives more difficult, you should be honest with them, and, if they acknowledge it, help them to become a better person.
If they refuse to work on their complicated personality, and the flaws become stronger than the desire to be with the person, it would be best to go your separate ways and not make each other unhappy. But still, you should remember that everyone has their moments, and if you love your partner, you will be focusing on the positive things.
There are so many media (movies, TV shows) that show us what happens when the couple lacks communication. Sometimes they have the silliest misunderstandings, simply because they make assumptions instead of talking to each other openly.
If you are facing some challenging moments in your relationship, perhaps this is the sign that you should communicate with your partner more. In strong relationships, people always interact with each other, talk about their days and listen to what their partner has to say, exchange pieces of advice and opinions, and express mutual support.
The effective communication is one of the keys to a strong relationship, and if you are finding yourself drifting away from your partner and not finding common topics anymore, being afraid to open up about things in fear of judgment, or feeling exhausted after every conversation with them, this might be an alarming sign.
3. Being honest
Expressing your feelings in an open manner instead of bottling them up is a significant part of every healthy union. If you suppress your true feelings long enough, eventually, under the stress, they will burst out in a very unpleasant form, and hurt both you and your partner.
Every person who is in a long-term relationship needs to talk openly about things that worry or concern them, and make sure that they have not done anything that upset their partner or made them feel uncomfortable. This is very closely tied to the previous point about communication.
Two people, who have huge egos, are stubborn and would only want things to go their way, would not ever make a healthy couple. Not all things are worth fighting over, and not everything has always to go our way. Sometimes, compromising with your partner and hearing their side of things is essential, because you never know what it will lead to in the long run.
There is really no point in fighting over the minor things that can easily be resolved without an argument. Sometimes it is best to focus on the good things and see the point of your partner, instead of refusing to change your ways. It will really help your relationship, and you will find yourself feeling more refreshed and happy than after the constant fights.
5. Trusting each other
The key to every successful and loving relationship is, of course, trust. It goes without saying that trust in a relationship is important, and it is a remedy from all the fights, misunderstandings, and arguments. If you love your partner, trusting them in an emotional and physical way is very essential. You should not always suspect them of cheating, or doubt their faithfulness towards you. The person will quickly feel trapped and will need a break from your control.
As practice shows, the more you try to restrict someone’s freedom, the more they want to be free, so there is a high chance that if you doubt your partner all the time, he or she will get tired of it and seek happiness elsewhere, with someone who trusts them. If the trust is broken, it may be more difficult to confide in the partner the same way. It depends on the situation. But generally, you have to learn to believe your partner and give them space in order to make your relationship long-lasting.
6. Spending good quality time together
The couple should not just be a couple – they also have to be best friends. There is no point in a relationship where you just like each other’s looks but have nothing in common and make each other unhappy.
It is incredibly important to have common interests and hobbies and spend some good time with each other when you have free days. This means communicating with each other, going out and exploring new places, traveling, cooking together, watching the movies, and just having a nice fun time. Even if you are polar opposites and have different hobbies, you can try to adjust to your partner’s lifestyle if this person truly means a lot to you. For example, if your lover likes football, you can go to the game together – even if you know nothing about it, you have a chance to learn and expand your horizons.
Never judge people for things they are passionate about, no matter how ridiculous they might seem to you. All the hobbies and interests are valid, as long as they do no harm to anyone, and they are a big part of everyone’s personality, one of the things that make us different from each other. So, if your partner does not understand your passions, mocks you for them and outright says they are silly, then maybe you should look for someone who would be more supportive. Support and good pastime together doing things you both love will make the relationship stronger and healthier.
If you want to spend your life with this person, you should fully commit to this relationship. This means that you should think not only about yourself but also about your lover and how your actions make them feel. You should talk out your goals for the future and make sure they are similar, so you could achieve them together.
Both of you need to compliment each other, give support throughout the difficult time, and lift each other up when one of you is feeling down. And do not forget to give your partner enough space so you would not get tired of each other, because each person has a life which does not revolve around their lover. Getting into a relationship is not just a fun thing – you have to be committed to it and fully understand the needs and wishes of your beloved person.
8. Saying “thank you” and “sorry”
Obviously, you are close with your partner, and there are no barriers between you. But do not think that your close bond is an excuse for being impolite and disrespectful. Little things like saying “thank you” when the person did something nice and pleasant for you or saying “sorry” when you have done something wrong, really make a huge difference in a relationship. It can make your union even stronger because these small gestures are a way to demonstrate that you care about the feelings and emotions of your partner, and respect them. You might think it would go unnoticed, but trust us when we say that it will not. And of course, find the balance: people who apologize all the time for everything can quickly become irritating for the others, so say it in healthy amounts.
9. Being romantic
Even though those romance movie cannot be entirely realistic, sometimes we all wish that our life could be a little like them. There are a lot of people who are smart, practical and reliable, but life with them gets boring very quickly because they are unable to bring a little excitement and fairytale into their partner’s life.
Your partner would really appreciate it if you made some small sweet gestures for them: for example, this could be remembering the anniversary of your relationship and other special days, keeping in mind the favourite things of your partner and using them as a reference for the future, surprising each other with gifts and flowers, planning romantic evenings and vacations. Except that, you should not forget to remind and show your partner regularly how much you love them. Love life will become very repetitive and monotonous if all you have is just serious everyday problems.
10. Solving the arguments in a mature way
So many couples resolve their fights by screaming and insulting each other, and it is probably obvious why this way is wrong. There is always a bitter taste after such arguments, and you just know deep inside that your trust into this person always having your back has decreased.
Every couple has misunderstandings – after all, we are all humans, and it is impossible to agree on everything. Bringing up the problematic topic should be done in a gentle tone, without blaming anyone, because this is how most fights usually start. Some good ways to resolve the fight are changing the topic, using the sense of humor, establishing the common ground, or making a caring remark (for instance “I understand that this topic is difficult for you to discuss”). Sometimes, it can be the healthiest for both of you just to back off and return back to this discussion when you both have calmed down.
11. Focusing on positives
Some people just complain too much, and if you think about it, many of those things are simply not worth complaining. If you or your partner are one of those people, this can bring discomfort into your everyday life, because the negative environment is always harmful. It is especially difficult if you keep complaining about each other’s bad sides.
Instead of dwelling on all the negativity that surrounds you, try to notice the positive things and focus on them. Discuss them together with your lover, and concentrate on how many good things are there in the world. Try to recognize and acknowledge the strong sides of your partner. It is really very simple to do so, and once you start, you will be amazed at how much better it feels. In fact, all the things in the universe are neutral, and it is our attitude that makes them negative or positive
12. Showing physical affection
When people are shown physical care, they feel safe and happy. This is why it is essential to give your partner this affection on a regular basis – it will increase your trust and emotional connection.
It is really very simple to hold hands when you walk in the street, to give your lover comforting hugs, or to squeeze their arm gently. Perhaps this is what your partner is waiting from you, but is too embarrassed to say it out loud.
13. Not arguing about money
The healthy conversation about sharing, spending and earning money is completely required at the start of the relationship. Try to reach a mutual understanding of your financial life. After all, one of the partners will always earn a little more, and the unexpected financial troubles will always occur, and these are things that every couple usually deals with. Address the worries about finances that you have on your mind, and do not argue about these things, because they very often kill the promising relationships.
14. Making your significant other a priority
This is the main reason you are in the relationship. Both people can have lives outside each other, and it is, in fact, strongly advised, because all couples need breaks and lives of their own. However, you should always let your partner know that you are serious about your relationship, and they are an absolute number one for you.
These are the ways to preserve and maintain strong, good, and healthy relationships. We hope these pieces of advice will help you, and bring you many years of love, respect, and understanding! Sharing your own stories in the comment section is strongly encouraged!